Throughout the 5 years I have had Crohn's disease, the most important thing I have learned is that I require so much sleep, and R&R time.
My daughter has been sick off and on for the past month and a half, to make a long story short, my health has suffered immensely.
With only a few hours of sleep most nights my body is screaming at me to snap out of it and start taking good care of it again. How do you decide that it is time to put your health first instead of your childs? For me, I chose my child. I believe this is how most mothers would feel.
Although I am in dire need of sleep, no apatite anymore, am having increasing pain, and not to mention drenched in sweat, it does not phase me that this is most likely caused by my lack of sleep, and lack of R&R. Yes I have put my health on the back burner, for now. Until my little one is back to herself I do not plan on putting my needs ahead of hers.
No this is not a form of self destruction for all the readers wondering that, this is me being a mom, knowing that no matter what, my child always comes first. Yes I still take my 30 odd pills a day, and stay on top of my disease that way, but to have to cook my special diet everyday, to need to be in bed by 9pm, and asleep by 9:30 has been a pain in the ass, especially when you are dealing with a sick two year old.
So for all of you with your worried glances, and the remarks like " oh god you don't look well, are you in another flare up"? My answer to you, without having to defend my actions, is YES I probably am in a bad flare up, yes I know I look like the walking dead, and no I will not put my needs before my daughters.
To those reading this knowing I have directed this blog your way, understand that this is my way of life, sick or not, my child is number one, and until she is better her needs will be put in front of my Crohn's disease.